It Can Be Good When Things Get In Your Way


I dislike it when stuff gets in the way of achieving my goals.

Frustration. Irritation. Exasperation. Vexation. All of the “ations”.

At times, outright anger and — perhaps a bit of rage?

You know what I mean?. An impediment just occurred. Something is now smack dab in the middle of where I was going. The road I’m on is blocked.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?

Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.

Michael Jordan

Stalled. At best slowed down. Not going to get to where I was going on time. Perhaps it will even cost me more than I had set aside for this trip.

It’s all the same. Whether a project, or excursion, or an item on the To DO list.

Blocked. Impeded. Hindered. Jammed up. Gridlocked. Obstructed. Got it?

But there are several other ways to look at this kind of scenario. Silver linings.

Here are 3 examples of good karma outcomes when things get in the way.


When Things Get In Your Way

1. The Misstep or Wrong Turn

Consider how that miscalculation might just get you to your destination faster. Look for the opportunity.

I was on a project where a key resource left in mid-stream and another member picked up the slack. This person actually got it done faster.

“Sometimes it takes a wrong turn to get you to the right place.”
Mandy Hale

2. Blocked Paths

A turn may be required. Could lead to a more interesting or valuable solution.

I was associated with a project where one of the chosen Suppliers got into a dispute with us, withdrawing their component from the solution. We looked for alternatives and switched suppliers resulting in a better cheaper outcome.

“If there aren’t
twists and turns in the road, the drive’s a bore.”
Jessica Haight and Stephanie Robinson

3. Serendipity From a Rocky Road

The impediment could cause people to stretch beyond the creativity they had previously been able to demonstrate.

In my experience, a project risk actually came to be. It caused a young, less experienced PM to re-evaluate, re-analyse and discover a different way forward. She stretched and reached. Got it done.

“He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.”
Shannon L. Alder


Eventually, on every road you ride on, you will come across some bumps or run into an obstacle. I’ve never been on a project that didn’t experience impediments at one point or another.

Life in general is that way as well. Financial difficulties. Job loss. Health. Imperfections. Unreliable systems. All can impede your progress and keep you from achieving goals.

We can find our way out of many if not all of these. Sometimes it just takes a different perspective. A twist. A turn. A different path.

You might just end up better than you were…

“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way”
~ Marcus Aurelius

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If You Are Counting on Willpower Think Again



Your Simple Thought of the Week:

If you need to exercise willpower to get focus on what you think is your passion, then recheck your passion. Something is wrong or missing.

“If the fire in your heart is strong enough, it will burn away any obstacles that come your way.”
Suzy Kassem


Contemplation

Don’t count on getting through something with merely your will. It can’t be just about your will. If you find yourself failing to carry through and sustain, examine your passion.

Are you still as passionate about your passion as you once were?

Your passion is what should carry the day.

“Willpower, though important in its own way, is never enough. In order for you to be truly powerful, you must open up and trust in something beyond yourself — something you cannot prove for certain.”
Seth Adam Smith

This is Simplicity’s Simple Thought of the Week. Follow us for more short wisdom delivered to you at the end of every single week.


My publication, Simplicity, is about bringing some order to a complicated and chaotic world.

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This Is How to Be Fulfilled and Healed


“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”
― Jalaluddin Mevlana Rumi

As a Life Coach, Mentor, and Leader of large organizations I continuously encounter fellow human beings in distress due to events that have occurred in their lives. It happens more every day. What a world we live in…

Gauging from my own personal experience with distress these events are often devastating. And “devastating” is always in the eyes of the sufferer.

What might be an inconvenience to me might just be your disaster

Let’s face it, life constantly throws jabs and punches at us. We dodge, duck, and weave more often than we would like. It seems more and more life lands some fairly heavy blows and inflicts wounds and pain on us.

We are always looking for ways to ease that pain, heal those wounds, fill the emptiness we feel at times. We are constantly searching for fulfillment and healing. A desire to feel better.

I say fulfillment instead of happiness.

I don’t believe in searching for happiness

To me happiness is a serendipitous outcome. There will be times in life where you will not be happy. Not necessarily feel joy. That’s just life.

But even in the absence of joy and happiness you can still feel fulfilled.

You won’t be happy with the death of a loved one. You will feel sadness. Not joy. But as you are tending to, caring for and and helping loved ones during this event, you can experience fulfillment. That is worth searching for.

Often, we search for the silver bullet. The snake venom antidote. The dose of magic elixir that will make life recede into the shadows, put out the fire in our souls, and take away the pain.

Doesn’t exist. Trust me. I’ve looked. In the bottom of a bottle, a temporary euphoric high, fat bank account, house full of “toys”, power trip, and in a promiscuous life. IT DOES NOT EXIST. Temporary and fleeting are those.

I’ve seen people turn to

  • substances
  • pain killers
  • shopping
  • gambling
  • online activities
  • sex
  • other stimuli

To take away pain and heal the wounds. None of those things heal the wounds. Any pain relief is very temporary.

And as we have come to recognize, those supposed “solutions” bring along lots of baggage full of damaging addictions and side effects.

The ONE thing I have found consistently leading to fulfillment, healing, and relief of pain:

Seek out people who need help and work collaboratively to help them through their dilemma

THIS WORKS.

I am convinced that we were designed and placed on this earth to help fellow human beings. A whole host of good things come down on us and others when we do this.


10 Ways Helping Someone Else Helps Us In Turn

  1. Shifting attention to help others takes the focus off us and our problems
  2. Helping others is a positive activity. Focus on positive things and not the negativity associated with our own issues
  3. The connection we develop with others when we help them is a satisfying feeling, washing over and soothing our wounded souls
  4. The act of doing good just plain feels good. Healing, taking away pain, making us fulfilled. Beneficial chemicals are released in the brain when you do good
  5. Helping others is great for self esteem. It gives your psyche a tremendous boost. Makes you feel powerful
  6. Connections we make with others we help builds friendships and a lasting bond that continues to have a positive effect on us for a long time
  7. Inner peace washes over us when we selflessly give time and assistance
  8. We make the world a better place one kind act at a time
  9. We set an example that others can follow
  10. Helping others is a great way to learn about you and who you really are, and in turn to help yourself

You see we really do hold the key to self-healing, easing of pain, and fulfillment. It is there for us to take advantage of any time we need and want.

There is no shortage of tattered and hurting souls to help either. So make it your mission to get out and help someone today. Enjoy the positive effects that it will bring you and them.

Do you have your own stories about how helping others has helped you? I’d love to hear them!

“I think instead [of happiness] we should be working for contentment… an inner sense of fulfillment that’s relatively independent of external circumstances.”
― Andrew Weil

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What To Do When You Think You Are Crushing It But Few Are Caring


Do you consider yourself to be at all creative?

Painter? Musician? Sculptor? Designer? Actor? Dancer? Writer?

Roiling and Toiling. Aching. Hurting. Passions burning. Thoughts abounding.

Reaching down into your soul to pull out what’s buried there and show it to the entire world. Fighting through pain and reticence to display your craft.

No one sees. Listens. Reads. Cares.

“It would be too easy to say that I feel invisible. Instead, I feel painfully visible, and entirely ignored.”
― David Levithan

Well, maybe some do come. And care.

And for us who are writers?

The rest flock elsewhere. To read and care for crappier stuff. Crappy by whose definition? Yours. It’s your psyche and well being I care about right now. No one else’s. It’s you I am writing to.

So, why should you listen to me? Am I an authority? Am I highly successful?

I think the most relevant reason that I can offer for you to pay attention to me is that I am also Roiling and Toiling. Reaching down into my soul. Putting out my best work and scratching my head at times. Wondering what it will take.

And through the past several years of struggling and living in virtual anonymity as a writer, the last few months of roiling and toiling have begun to pay off. I SEE the results. Real results.

My Medium “VIEWS” have dramatically increased, as have my “READS” and “FANS” and “CLAPS”. Followers have increased to over 1,000 as well.

My blog at www.fiallo.com has seen a spike in visits, readership, sign ups and followers. Its breathing new life again.

And my publication Simplicity has over 1,000 followers and several writers have joined now.

I credit a lot of my success to Thomas Kuegler and his Medium Masterycourse. Find it →HERE. I highly recommend it.

But the number one thing that made a difference for me, bar none is this…

I Write Every Day

Every single day. And I publish every single day. And when I publish, I share across all Social Media platforms, and across many of the LinkedIn groups I belong to. Its become a ritual.

What have I sacrificed to do this?

  • I invested a modest amount in Tom’s course
  • I constantly read other great writers
  • I stay observant and scour the virtual and physical world for inspiration
  • When inspired by a good idea for a post, I document it as a headline in Medium. Perhaps add a few notes. Build a backlog of future posts

And the most important thing I do…

I wake up every morning at 5 AM to write uninterrupted for at least 2 hours. Seven days a week. Rain or shine.

Do you have to do all of this? No.

Work out your own routine and what works for you.

But the main thing is → KEEP WRITING!


I cherish and treasure the few people that are coming, reading, joining me on my journey. I respect and honor them by writing every single day. And that has made the difference for me in these three ways:

  1. I am perfecting my craft and getting better
  2. My message is out there every day slowly attracting a TRIBE
  3. Audiences are coming to know they can count on me to show up for them consistently and with quality content

After all, I am a WRITER! And writers write. That’s what we do.

Forget about everything else. Just write. Every day. Or as often as you can.

The rest will take care of itself…

Asking a working writer what he thinks about critics is like asking a lamp-post what it feels about dogs.”
― John Osborne

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I Need To Cut Back My Sarcasm This Year


I’ve been a sarcastic sh*t my entire life.

Sometimes it’s a simple “Really?” or “Seriously?”. Both with raised eyebrows.

Other times a more robust utterance or stream is required.

“We…we could be friends.’

We COULD be rare specimens of an exotic breed of dancing African elephants, but we’re not. At least, I’M not.”
― Neil Gaiman

Here are 10 of my most frequent and historically favorite jabs.


  1. I’ve no desire to get into a battle of wits with an unarmed man
  2. I would agree with you but then we’d both be wrong
  3. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for the middle of my sentence to interrupt the beginning of yours
  4. Was there actually something important in what you just said?
  5. When he left to go to another department he simultaneously raised the IQ of both groups
  6. Are you always this dense? Or are you acting this way especially for me?
  7. You won’t be in all next week? How will we notice the difference?
  8. What part of NO did you not understand?
  9. Oh I hear you. I just don’t understand you. You see I don’t speak nonsense.
  10. How about some floppy shoes and a red nose to complete that clown impersonation?

I’ve got to let them all go. And more. Jettison them. Throw them out.

“Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt.”
― Cassandra Clare

You see I’m not a stand up comic. Not Don Rickles or a Late Night TV host. And my life isn’t Open Mic Night at The Improv.

There was a point in my life when I wrote comedy. Sarcastic lines. And used them at work. Isn’t that INSANE?

There is no room in my life for this. It isn’t the me I’ve become and want to be.

It can’t be me.

Is there a place for sarcasm? Is it appropriate at any time? I suppose so.

“Are you always a smartass?’

Nope. Sometimes I’m asleep.”
― Jim Butcher

But let’s just talk ME.

I discovered that my sarcasm is almost always mean and cruelBelittling. Attacking. Demeaning. Demoralizing. I can’t control it. Like Cyclops from X-Men who can’t control the beams emanating from his eyes.

So I would do a lot of direct as well as collateral damage.

Direct damage is when the Sarcasm is specifically aimed at someone. Some people handle it well. Others? You can see the hurt in their eyes. The dejection in the hunched shoulders. The wince. Not good.

It began to leave a bad taste in my mouth. A stain on my soul.

Collateral damage is when others react to the sarcasm aimed at someone else. It leaves a bad taste in THEIR mouth. A lower opinion of who I am. Bad character for me.

Equally not good.

So the fix is straightforward. No sarcasm. I don’t need it. I’d rather be helpful, kind, understanding. That’s who I am supposed to be. Who I really am.

Will I always be perfect? No. Will I “fall off the wagon”? Probably. But when I fail I’ll recognize it. Admit it. Apologize. And move on. And as with any long time habit that I desire to change I’ll use my A.W.A.R.E. process.

Perhaps there is more truth to the following quote than I care to admit:

“I’m sorry. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain.”
― Cassandra Clare

Those of you that know me please hold me accountable. Call me out.

No more sarcasm

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Why Drowning in A Thimble Is Even Possible


Your Simple Thought of the Week:

Some people can drown in a thimbleful of water

That’s what my grandmother used to tell me.


Contemplation

We all know the types.

Drama queens. Everything is blown out of proportion. Super sized. Chicken Little. The end of the world. Peter and the Wolf.

It’s the “woe is me” attitude.

Problem is, when everything is major, nothing is major.

We don’t have the cycles, the energy for dealing with mountains that are really molehills.

“You don’t drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there.”

— Edwin Louis Cole

Color your world in realism


This is Simplicity’s Simple Thought of the WeekFollow us for more short wisdom delivered to you at the end of every single week.


My publication, Simplicityis about bringing some order to a complicated and chaotic world.

Connect with me on Twitter HERE

LinkedIn HERE

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Send me an email HERE

Read my Medium Stories on my publication Simplicity HERE.

 

 

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What To Do When You Wake Up and Everything Just Sucks


I awoke today and thought — yech…

“Some days you get up and you already know that things aren’t going to go well. They’re the type of days when you should just give in, put your pajamas back on, make some hot chocolate and read comic books in bed with the covers up until the world looks more encouraging. Of course, they never let you do that.”
― Bill Watterson

I would have said it out loud but didn’t want to wake my wife.

It wasn’t just that I was sick with the flu going on five days. Something just didn’t feel right. I was off my game. In the wrong gear.

But like a good boy, I struggled into the kitchen, poured myself a shot of Mucinex, made a cup of Nespresso, faithfully trudged into my writing cave, sat down and began to pound away at the keyboard.

Enormous mistake.

Everything I typed was crap.

“Some days are just born bad. You know the type. The kind you want to sweep into your palm like spilled salt and toss over your left shoulder, hoping that if you don’t look back nothing worse will happen.”
― Marie Rutkoski

So I started catching up on and reading blogs.

Another enormous mistake.

I know some of you are going to hate me for this but I just have to say that a good chunk of the stuff people write is nothing short of garbage. I’m not a snob, nor am I an elitist. Just trying to keep it real.

I recognize that my writing is not many people’s cup of tea, but I gots ta tell ya — some of the stuff I read that people are writing? It sucks. So that was not going to be a solution to my funkiness either. Maybe my mood? Maybe not.

I’ve written before on having bad days and what to do about them. I dusted off one of those posts from just two weeks ago and re-read it. Find it HERE.

I didn’t even feel like following any of that advice. I wasn’t being hypocritical. That’s not me. I tried. It just wasn’t going to work.

“There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them.”
― Lawrence Welk

So I figured something else out. Had to. So here’s what I did.


  • Resisted the urge to get up and go back to bed
  • Drained the coffee and made a second cup
  • Sat down and meditated for some time (lost track of how long which is a good thing)
  • Recalled the prize — my book. Keep your eye on the prize!
  • Remembered why I am here — to help others
  • Read through my list of writing ideas and picked one that engaged me
  • Drafted a few titles and “analyzed” them
  • Looked for a picture that fit
  • Researched some quotes on the topic
  • Outlined the article
  • Put it aside. No writing
  • Opened up Scrivener
  • Read the draft of my book
  • And then began to pound away at it

Before I knew it, I had settled into a rhythm. I was back in gear. On my game.

And when I was “book” exhausted, I picked up the article again, pounded away at that, and finished it.

I thought to myself — Yay!


I’m not claiming this to be a magic formula. Not at all. The point is I reoriented myself in some manner. Along the lines of my passion — writing. And that snapped me out of the mood.

“Every day is not going to be unicorns and rainbows, and that’s OK. There will be days when you don’t fart sunshine, when things don’t go as planned. Some days may feel like 2 steps forward and 5 steps back. It is OK. It doesn’t define you…Be a friend to yourself.”
― Akiroq Brost

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